Japan is a country of many traditions and etiquettes. Everything in Japan has its own way to be done and if you do something different, everyone will look at you wonderingly. Tourists coming to Japan are amazed and interested by the large variety of food available. However, there are some basic table manners that foreigners should know so that they don't feel like a fish out of water in Japan.
In Japan, it is an important etiquette to say traditional phrases before and after a meal. People start a meal by saying "itadakimasu" ("I gratefully receive") and after finishing eating they say "gochisosama (deshita)" ("Thank you for the meal") with a bow. It is crucial for you to say these phrases, especially when you are invited for a meal or someone cooks for you.
Chopsticks are used widely in all Japanese homes and restaurants. It may be very difficult for foreigners to become familiar with using Japanese chopsticks. Besides knowing how to eat using chopsticks, foreigners have to know some rules of this kind of utensil. One of the most important rules is not to pass food with your chopsticks directly to somebody else's chopsticks and vice versa. You shouldn't point your chopsticks at somebody or something. Playing with your chopsticks at a meal is also inadvisable. When you want to get food from a shared plate to your own plate, use the other ends of your chopsticks. This is considered polite and considerate in Japan.
It is appreciated in Japan to wait until everyone is served before you start eating. It is also considered considerate to empty your dishes completely because the Japanese are very economical. When eating, try to chew with your mouth closed and don't burp during the meal because that is considered bad manners. If you are given some extra food, for example a bowl of rice, accept it with both hands. When eating, try not to eat in big pieces. You should separate the large piece with your chopsticks and eat every small piece. In contrast to some Western countries where people are often taught not to make slurping noises when eating soup or noodles, it is considered a normal thing in Japan. It even seems strange in Japan if you eat noodles without a sound!
If there are alcoholic drinks at the meal, you shouldn't just pour the alcohol into your own glass. You should check your friends' glasses frequently and if their glasses are getting empty, you should serve them with more. It is considered bad manner to be seen drunk in public in some formal restaurants. However, in some informal ones drunkenness is acceptable as long as you don't bother others.
It is polite to say "itadakimasu" once before eating or drinking, and "gochisousama deshita" to your host or to the restaurant's staff after eating or when leaving the place.
There are usually no napkins used at Japanese meals, thus you should prepare for yourself some tissues or a handkerchief. In Japan and in some other Asian countries, during the meal you shouldn't talk about anything related to the toilet or any similar topics. This is strictly unappreciated because it is assumed that people lose their appetite when hearing about those things.
Noodles can be and should be slurped. Likewise, bowls or plates should be brought up the the mouth rather than bending one's head toward it.
Things novices shouldn't do with Japanese people!
The Japanese are very sensitive, especially middle-aged and older people. They will be annoyed if you ask them about their political life and religious perspectives. Questions about which party they support or what religion they follow should never be asked.
Do not place your chopsticks vertically into a bowl of rice, as this is used in Buddhist funerary ceremony.
Do not pass along food across the table or to someone else with your chopsticks for the same reason as above. This is how the deceased bones are taken from the fire.
The Japanese King, the Mikado, and the Royal family are extremely respectable and sacred to the Japanese people. Therefore, the fastest way for you to be hated (or even beaten) in Japan is to do or say something which offends their Mikado and the Royal Family.
You should not eat while standing or walking in the street. Even inside a house, you should sit down to eat. The only exceptions are for eating at a counter (e.g. ramen) or for eating an ice-cream in the street. This custom is one of the most difficult to adapt to for many non-Japanese, as it doesn't seem to make much sense.
You should never ask a Japanese about his income, which is considered very rude behaviour. Like in many other countries in the world, you shouldn't ask a woman about her age and weight. You should also be aware that the Japanese are usually very reserved and they do not want to talk about their private lives. Although you may meet some exceptions, most Japanese people don't like to start conversations with strangers.
You should not blow your nose in the presense of other people. Japanese only use paper tissue for this and the tissue is thrown away immediately. sniff the snot back until you find some privacy. Like in other Asian countries, it is considered rude to blow you nose in a handkerchief and stuff it in your pocket afterward. Japanese are usually aware of this Western practice, although actually watching a westerner might make them vomit .
It's really great if you are invited to the home of a Japanese family for a meal. You should always take off your shoes before entering their house and when inside, avoid looking into their kitchen unless you are a really intimate friend of the family. You should also remember that Japanese people do not kiss or caress a child unless they are family members. Therefore, do not kiss or touch any Japanese child you meet, because it may annoy Japanese adults.
Do not point your finger, feet or chopsticks at people. If you have to indicate an object or direction to someone, wave your fingers with the palm downwards.
The Japanese are very superstitious. They always avoid anything related to the numbers 4 and 9 because in the Japanese language, "4" is pronounced like "death" and "9" is the same as "grief". In Japanese hotels, they even don't have rooms numbered 4 and 9. When dealing with Japanese people, avoid anything related to those numbers.
Avoid interrupting people when they are speaking or thinking about an answer. Japanese do not mind short periods of silence in the middle of a discussion.
At the Onsen, do not mistake men and women's changing rooms, as it is extremely impolite, even if you really mistook. The men's room are usually on the left, and normally has a blue curtain with "otoko" (男) or dono-sama (殿様) written on it. The women's room is usually on the right, with a red curtain reading "onna" (女). If you are not sure, ask !
Absolutely avoid bikinis at public swimming pools, as this could create incidents with Japanese customers and you could end up expelled from the premises. Bikinis are for the beach only.
©tokyonodoko2006-2007
